341) Ryan's Dundrum House of Main Street, Dundrum, D14

A small bar, a massive lounge with a food fetish – highlighted by a mounted head of some sort of deer, white of fur with spectacularly tapering horns, certainly not native to Ireland (the staff are no help if one asks them the species, but let's call it an 'ibex' for the sake of argument). The bar was formerly called 'The Athlete's Rest' and the wall plays host to some evocative old photos of the place in its vintage prime (subjects include a collection of local legends posturing on the sawdust, as well as a bus scene featuring an infant sprawled on one seat and a seemingly kindly cleric seated on another – nowadays, child protection officials might raise an eyebrow).

Today, it is distinguished by hideous wallpaper which should be avoided by anyone with a tendency towards migraine. But worst of all, their Beamish was very poor stuff indeed, stale and cough-inducing, symptomatic of dirty pipes and stagnant flow. Its nearby neighbour down the road, The Eagle (see below) is infinitely more commendable [1].

Ibex?

FOOTNOTE

[1] Some pointless autobiographical trivia, a slice of local showbiz history: in late 2011, Sam Coll played Young Scrooge in the nearby Mill Theatre's production of A Christmas Carol (directed by the moody Geoff O'Keeffe and the level-headed Gary Wall), and for the festive season was a frequent frequenter of this pub, which would play host to the cast after rehearsals. A Guinness drinker at the time, he was spared the horrors of the pub's Beamish. The pub was agreeably generous about extending the hours of serving, the local police amiably turning a blind eye to the laws of licensing. Lest any of these names have hit the big time in the intervening years, let's reel off what cast members we can remember: Maria Fitzgerald, Peter Prior, Brian Molloy, Tony Matthews, Tony McGettigan, Sean Daly, Lola White, Niamh Iremonger, Pat O'Grady, Sarah Joyce, Muriel Caslin O'Hagan, Joe McCarthy, Jessica Plunkett and Fiona Colhoun.

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