67) Ryan's of Lower Camden Street, D2

A narrow Camden street pub established in 1882, once known as 'the country pub in the city' given that during matches the local midland colours would adorn the exterior [1]. Has since been somewhat revamped and extended to appeal to a more youthful late night crowd, perhaps to contend with its proximity to Whelan's next door on Wexford street. The renovations have extended to a considerable widening of the windows, which offer an impressive panorama of Camden Street by daylight, like gawking at a human aquarium. We are told that the memory of a fish is fleeting - like a pub patron. Happy are those in the know that toilets are fitted with a vending machine offering the patron the following essential products: ‘Safe Sex (3 condoms - flavoured), The Magic Wand (for hours of entertainment), and the Vibrating Ring.’  Ding Ding!

Update as of July 2021: In order to be able to open (albeit partially) for business during Covid-19 related restrictions, a new beer garden has been opened and can be accessed from Camden Row.

FOOTNOTE

[1] Ryan’s is located on the corner of the laneway ‘Camden Row.’ Down this lane tucked away lies a new pub opened in 2019 called the Crafty Fox which is relegated to a mere footnote because it’s a big fat fucking fake. It has the look of an old traditional pub (props for that), but as the name suggests the emphasis is entirely on the ‘crafty’ side. There’s nothing at all traditional here.  Weird expensive smelly daft craft beers, curious cocktails and millennial clubbers are all preferred.  As a deterrent for the humble punter - the humble Guinness weighs in at a whopping €5.60 a pint (god only knows what the prices will be post Covid!). Alas, it pretends to be something it’s not. (‘How can I be civil when hearing this drivel?/It’s only for nightclubbing souses’). And as for the nightclubbing souses, there’s a secret door at the back of the bar which leads directly to a beer garden (The Botanical Garden) in the Opium nightclub on Wexford Street of which this pub is a part. So there you are, The Crafty Fox ladies and gentlemen, a big phony-bogus-imitation-reproduction-pseudotraditional-makeshift-shifty-shit-pub.

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