82) Paddy Cullen's and Mary Mac's of Merrion Road, Ballsbridge, D4

Two conjoined Ballsbridge pubs. Prices grow daily more exorbitant. Aggressively mediocre. The sibling pubs Mary and Paddy have it hot for sports. Mary’s has a clothesline of jerseys on the wall and Paddy’s is a Liverpool pub (consider yourself warned - insufferable on match days with ‘you’ll never wank alone’). There’s an unhealthy penchant for caricatures and a predilection for pub grub which gets mixed reviews. The myriad suits of Ballsbridge exhaust the ATM that stands out sore in Paddy’s, and in the chill of winter they untangle their ties and scramble to win the seat by the open fire.

Mary’s is the preferred waterhouse of mediaguru Ryan ‘the Tubs’ Tubridy who often saunters in with celebrities for big expensive smelly pints. He has been seen swallowing with other similar shits such as Piers Morgan and Will Ferrell. Both pubs have been known to temporarily close for a few days to allow for filming to take place. The seating area outside is not without charm in summer. An American tourist, unaware that the two neighboured pubs function in unison, once remarked: “wow, that lounge girl is awesome - she works for two pubs at the same time!”

A smug shit in a neat suit with a nice pint of 0% Hyno-mite

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