392) The Porterhouse of Parliament Street, Temple Bar, D2

A cavernous and very trendy establishment that does a bomb with tourists and the moneyed. The downstairs is excruciatingly loud with nonstop music both live and piped, the upper floors (at least at the time of our mid-afternoon visit) are much more serene. As part of a successful home-grown chain, it does not serve Guinness or Beamish, but brews its own homegrown crafty porter. The Quadruple XXX Stout is 5% strength, costs €6.20, and was found more to the taste of seasoned poetaster Andrew Stephens, who declared it more roasted, more bitter, and thus more appealing to his discerning palette than the slightly cheaper Plain Porter, which is markedly sweeter and more caramelised, leaving a sickly aftertaste. Nothing on the menu costs under €6, except for the 0% beer, a token favour to the designated driver, and the side of chips, which are €5.50 (the phrase ‘cheap as chips’ will have to be retired at this rate). A sirloin steak costs €30. Go figure, it’s only to be expected for the part of the city the place is situated.

Level 2 bay window and luscious light

There is also a decent selection of whiskey on the menu, with a special Whiskey Of The Month feature. The walls are crammed full of eye candy to divert the wandering eye - for instance, a poster depicting Andrew Strong, formerly of The Commitments, advertising his band Sliotar from the naughties. The place may be as tall as five full floors. The finest feature, only obtainable by daylight, is the magnificent view obtainable from the third floor bay windows, obscenely radiant and idyllic on a fine sunny day, a stunning panorama encompassing City Hall, Oxfam, Sunlight Chambers [1], the crossroads twixt Parliament Street and Essex Street East and West, etc.

Level 3 bay window with City Hall in background

One is seated round a magnificent brass pot-still with a mirror on the roof, to reflect one’s bald patch and further magnify the glowing effulgence and luminousness of the scene. Bottles of brews decorate walls in their thousands. Did we mention how much natural sunlight this place gets? An absolute wonder! The views alone are worth the price of admission, and makes a short few costly sups in the daylight an experience not to be missed, before repairing to the more homely and affordable likes of The Lord Edward for a dark nightcap.

FOOTNOTE:

[1] ‘Sunlight Chambers is a commercial office building on the corner of Parliament Street and Essex Quay in the Temple Bar area of ​​Dublin. It was designed by architect Edward Ould in an Italianate style and was named after Lever Brothers’ Sunlight detergent brand.’ This building is over 100 years old is known for its exquisite style, but often overlooked by busy pedestrians scurrying around who walk past it idiotically looking at their smartphones. Look up! How fitting it is that one can see this iconic building from the window of the Porterhouse pub which is a veritable chamber of sunlight itself.

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