The birthplace of Thomas Moore [1], Bard of Erin no less. Formerly perceived as being sleazy and an unofficial early house of Aungier Street [2]. In later years it was increasingly gentrified and tarted up, ultimately to its detriment. Known fondly as J.J.s. Jazz nights were held upstairs and pictures of Shaw and Behan would watch one drink. Was distinguished by a chatty barmaid, the vivacious and very friendly Fiona, spiritual cousin or daughter to Martina (see entry for McGowan's), who would sometimes ask for relationship advice. A delicious Beamish can be yours, if you want it - and you should.

Drinks were gulped in a gathering one evening which included Sam Coll, Andrew Stephens, Nuncle Richard O’Carroll and David Saunders which led to Richard’s famous remark on the economics of turning from Guinness and embracing the Beamish: ‘the more you drink the more you save!’ Saunders found this quip to be so humorous that it caused a large spray of spittle to leave his lips as he fell to a fit of laughter causing his growing dyspepsia to finally defeat him. Not even a peppermint cordial courtesy of the barkeep could save his heart from burning, and off he flew, like a thief in the night.

The writing on the wall came in 2018 when, in quick succession, Fiona was replaced by a loudmouth, Beamish ceased to be served and the prices were jacked up; it shut shortly after. It currently sits under a mummy's sarcophagus of scaffolding, and may in a little while be due for rebirth as yet another obnoxious cafe-bar-cum-gastro-garbage bin of sin and gin (see footnote). O.M.F.G.R.I.P.J.J.S.Y.O.L.O.

FOOTNOTES

[1] As of December 2019: J.J. Smyth’s is now the Thomas Moore Inn as Mr. J.J. Smyth has gone to his reward. Exterior tiles are emerald, interior is noticeably narrower. Sadly, not a Beamish bonder. Guinness is very good however and it vends at a silly €5.50 per pint. One hugely attractive feature added is an authentic snug with all the necessary criteria: a small separate space with a door for privacy, and a hatch to the bar. Long live the snug! Bar manager is another friendly Fiona (not the same as the aforementioned Fiona) from the county Monaghan who was headhunted for the position. A well-travelled woman she has been all over the globe including a trip to Jerusalem - a journey she would never repeat. On exiting one will notice a new sign on high, perched upon its parapet: ‘Birthplace of Thomas Moore - (1779) - Ireland’s lyric poet.’ 

[2] Two bars not to bother with on Aungier Street are: Bow Lane (shit), Capitol (what happens in Capitol, stays on the internet forever).

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