Very much the lazy go-to 'Trinity bar', located right behind the college – as the name suggests, the late J.P. Donleavy was once a regular [1]. Staff wear a uniform blue and the consumption of food is heavily encouraged. Students are fond of going splits on flagons of pissy lager. The aforementioned and noxious cock-gobbler 'Brendan' (see O'Neill's) has also been spotted here upon occasion. A tedious and inconclusive argument was once had over the acting merits of Stephen Rea – the instigator would appear to have been a relative, or a friend, or perhaps a lover of the performer – he had, at any rate, 'a dog in this fight'. Coll and Stephens were merely discussing in private how obviously awful Rea was as Leopold Bloom when this random drunk took offense and claimed that Rea was nothing short of a ‘national treasure,’ and how dare we, and that we should be ashamed of ourselves, and all of that. Stephens, feeling particularly saucy after meeting an American girl who also reads Dante, was having none of it and politely insisted that it would be better for all involved if he went away and fucked himself.

The pint is very pricey, although frothy pitchers are available which yield several pints of questionable ale to be shared tableside at a slightly better price. Apart from the ground floor both the recently renovated upstairs and downstairs seem to be opened on a whim. A unique mural on the outside wall depicts a melting clock reminiscent of Salvador Dali and, loud and brazen, none but the Beamish logo. But do not be tempted – the stuff is served, but at €5.50 a pop it’s the second most expensive pint of Beamish in Dublin (see Peadar Kearney’s for the top spot). Daylight robbery, symptomatic of our ripoff Republic.

FOOTNOTES

[1] Who once said: 'When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin.' When he did die, this wish was not carried out – why spoil good porter for the sake of a stunt?

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