294) The Beaumont House of Shantalla Road, Beamont, D9

If you ask for a Beamish, the barman will make a pained expression and respond in the regretfully negative. In many ways, the question is redundant, indeed foolish – only a glance at the exterior murals and the interior decoration would leave one in no doubt that this roomy establishment is a shrine to Guinness. Guintiques are all the rage, most notably a puffin driving a bus. To call this establishment roomy is an understatement – the bar is large, the lounge is larger still – with full carvery – and a further deserted restaurant hogs the upper floor, giving off a strong 'Overlook Hotel Gold Room' vibe at the time of visiting. The total capacity must be well in excess of four figures. One of the several spacious smoking areas plays host to a bizarre and faintly sinister fountain-cum-ashtray-cum-baptismal font, crowned by a horned and positively Satanic goat's head, whose eerie eyes are all too human and are wont to follow one around.

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