289) McCauley’s (Rialto House) of South Circular Road, D8

Don’t let the regal eagle of golden plumage perched atop the roof of the pub fool you, it’s a kip. Darts take the main stage and a generous area is dedicated to the board. Patrons are mixed. A few quiet folks at the bar try to read the paper while a load of raucous lads shout ear splittingly from front to back and over each other. We were delirious to see a Beamish tap behind the bar, but when Coll cried for two, the Barwoman furrowed her brow and spat, “you wa? No. We don’t do Beamish. That’s only a tap. We haven’t had the Beamo here in years!”

Their Guinness was decent enough, but gave a funky smell. Close your nose when you sip and you’ll be fine. The room is cold, dark and utterly void of character. Uniquely, it has something no other pub in Dublin has: zero art on the walls. No pictures, no photos, no memorabilia, nothing. Only one tiny framed photo stands on a shelf behind the bar of an old pintman caught in a convulsion of hilarity. We finished our pints rapidly and, on exiting, Coll stood in a big pile of stinking dogshite. 

A filthy little greenbottle fly enjoys some fresh dog shite for dinner. Similar to the specimen of dog shite that Coll stepped in outside McCauley’s. Very fitting.

Update as of July 17th 2019: After passing by recently we noticed the pub had briefly changed its name to ‘The Anchor’ and is now permanently shut (see: The Marble Arch for more dirty details).

Update as of 2021: Now called ‘The Circular’ - yet another hole for hipsters, woke wankers, gluten freaks, craft bastards, mustachioed mullets (see below).

A raw food vegan diet consists of unprocessed raw vegan foods that have not been heated above 115 F (46 C). Proponents of a raw food diet claim that there are many benefits to eating raw foods, including weight loss, mullet development, minor mustache growth, serial killer glasses, lack of humour.

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