43) J.K. Stoutmans (now: DV8) of James's Street, D8
Once considered one of the cheapest pubs in Dublin, staffed by a chatty pink-haired lady who formerly worked in Lincoln's Inn. Located not a stone's throw from the Guinness Brewery (inspiring) and St. Patrick's Hospital (much less encouraging). A pint of Guinness used to be a glorious €3.80 making it well worth the walk up the quay to claim our reward. A Guinness now vends at an awkward €5.10 making it no longer worthy of travel. One wouldn’t guess by the façade that upstairs is home to a music venue in the form of a beautifully wooden and expansive barroom. Elaborate staircases lead to an upper mezzanine so that 300 is the total capacity.
Back down in the bar we’ve been witness to many a father who has stopped off here to quaff on the way back from school while the daughter does her homework – 'And not a word to yer mammy, mind you'. An unfortunate English lady was once seen in a plastered condition, toppling tearfully to the floor and arousing contemptible sniggers – happily an attendant off-duty nurse did yeoman samaritan service. Many interesting photographs on the ceiling include Boris Karloff as Frankenstein's monster, Freddie Mercury and a galaxy of others to provide eyeballing distraction for any bored solitary who glances upward.
Whilst imbibing at the bar, Sam Coll fell victim to a sudden and unrelenting nose bleed, a wound which would put the fear of God into you via the bloody nostrils. Something similar happened to Andrew Stephens en-route to the Phibsborough House - shades of The League of Gentlemen Season II and the bloody curse of Papa Lazaru...
Disputatious Pintman versus Disinterested Pintman (one of our most iconic images)
Update as of July 2021: The pub formerly known as J.K. Stoutmans is now called ‘Guinans’ - pronounced either ‘Guy’ or ‘Gee’ (depending on which ever way you’re swinging yourself). Thankfully the same interior exists, and other than a new food menu, it’s as you were, but for one massive exception. It now serves BEAMISH! An extra large Beamish tap sits proudly at centre stage demanding attention. Congratulations Guinans! And we can report that it’s a very toothsome pint, too. Albeit highly priced at €5.00 apiece. Alas, a terrible norm is born. But no matter! At least the precious liquid is sold here. We’ll be back, Guinans.
Update as of March 2022: It didn’t take long. Beamish is gone. Replaced instead by some unknown stout that nobody has ever heard of and which will never sell as well as Beamish would have. What a foolish move. We had cheerfully dipped in to take a pint when a foul toothsucking nonchalant barwoman informed us that she hadn’t a clue as to why Beamish was off the menu and instead offered to pour us two alternative stouts. No fucking thanks. We left instanter, and won’t be back any time soon.
Update as of Nov 2022: Guinans didn’t last long. The pub is once again under new management and now operating under the name of ‘DV8.’ Sadly, no Beamish bonds, and they’ve ripped out all of the photographs that once gave it a unique character.
DISCLAIMER: The contents of this blog represent personal opinions and perspectives only. Read more.